REAL MEN READ THIS!

REAL MEN USE SHIFT. NONE OF THIS PUSSY CAPS LOCK STUFF.

REAL MEN DON'T SHIT, THEY HOLD IT IN AND CUT IT OUT OF THEIR BOWELS WITH A RUSTY SCREWDRIVER.

REAL MEN DON'T TROLL OR GET TROLLED.

REAL MEN ARE REAL MEN.

REAL MEN MASTURBATE FIVE TIMES A DAY.

REAL MEN HAVE HAIRY CHESTS AND SMOOTH LEGS LIKE MY AUNT LINDA.

REAL MEN DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SHIT.

REAL MEN DON'T USE SMGS, THEY DUAL WIELD LMGS.

REAL MEN DON'T USE GUNS, INSTEAD THEY SHOOT BROADSWORDS OUT OF THEIR DICKS.

REAL MEN DON'T BREATHE.

REAL MEN DON'T SMOKE CIGARETTES. INSTEAD, THEY SMOKE BULLETS.

REAL MEN DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT COMPLAINING.

REAL MEN DON'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES. INSTEAD, THEY PICK A VIDEO GAME AND MAKE IT REAL.

REAL MEN DON'T MAKE "YOUR MOM" JOKES. INSTEAD, THEY MAKE JOKES ABOUT EACH OTHERS' BEARDS.

REAL MEN DON'T DRINK WATER, THEY DRINK BOILING HOT SULFURIC ACID.

REAL MEN DON'T BLEED BLOOD, THEY BLEED ANGRY CHINESE MIDGETS.

REAL MEN CLEAN DISHES WITH THEIR BEARDS, NOT SPONGES.

REAL MEN CARRY AROUND 2 LITER BOTTLES OF VODKA INSTEAD OF FLASKS OF WHISKEY.

REAL MEN DON'T CAMP ON THE EARTH, THEY CAMP ON THE MOON.

These were said in a MW2 lobby. (Yes I still play it even though it eats elephant shit now.) They started after a guy called another guy a commando noob. Then Lolotov called him a gun noob, and then said that real men use knives.